Dunk Tank

Dunk Tank

Y’all, I am seriously struggling. I keep trying to figure out how I am going to do all of the things I want to without a job.

Everything costs money and right now that is the biggest weight on my shoulders. I feel like I should just sit still. Stay at home. My parents are helping me out. God bless them. I don’t want to ask for a thing.

I feel like that’s maybe why I let others drive. (Besides my surgery.) That way I don’t have to ask for money for gas. I try to keep it all to a minimum because I just feel so darn guilty. I have been told it’s no big deal it just needs to be done but this thing… it haunts me.

I am so afraid that if I do one thing wrong the State will deny me of benefits. So I sit here. Holding my breath.

When will this end? I feel like I am in one of those dunk tanks waiting for a kid who has horrible aim to finally hit the thing that will make the seat fall away. Into the water I go.

I have dreams and goals and desires. Don’t we all? I feel like once again… everything is being put on hold. I feel like if I make one wrong move I will be denied.

When do I get to breathe again?

Until next time y’all…

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