Y’all, I am seriously struggling. I keep trying to figure out how I am going to do all of the things I want to without a job.
Everything costs money and right now that is the biggest weight on my shoulders. I feel like I should just sit still. Stay at home. My parents are helping me out. God bless them. I don’t want to ask for a thing.
I feel like that’s maybe why I let others drive. (Besides my surgery.) That way I don’t have to ask for money for gas. I try to keep it all to a minimum because I just feel so darn guilty. I have been told it’s no big deal it just needs to be done but this thing… it haunts me.
I am so afraid that if I do one thing wrong the State will deny me of benefits. So I sit here. Holding my breath.
When will this end? I feel like I am in one of those dunk tanks waiting for a kid who has horrible aim to finally hit the thing that will make the seat fall away. Into the water I go.
I have dreams and goals and desires. Don’t we all? I feel like once again… everything is being put on hold. I feel like if I make one wrong move I will be denied.
When do I get to breathe again?
Until next time y’all…