This isn’t word for word from the movie Titanic but the idea is there. I kind of feel like there is an entire ship full of people out in the ocean and I am rowing in the little boat asking if anyone is there, if anyone can hear me.
I have my family and a couple of friends but they have lives and they shouldn’t stop living them because I feel alone.
Let’s talk about the fear of creating new friendships. That is a huge thing for me. Why should I try to make new friends when they always have stuff to do and soon enough get tired of me having to bail on plans we made?
That makes for a very lonely world. I will most likely continue rowing in that boat yelling for friendship if I keep this thought process.
Here enters the question of how does someone who feels completely isolated make new friends? Question number two is, how does one keep said friends? There are so many questions that I don’t have the answers to.
I feel like I am learning how to make friends all over again. That was a skill I was taught in Pre-K and Kindergarten and refined over the years of school. Now, I am back to the remedial class of friendship.
It brings great anxiety. I don’t want to put myself out there and set myself up for isolation again. I don’t want to get my hopes up. If I don’t have expectations I won’t get disappointed, right? WRONG!! I am already disappointed. It’s hard feeling alone but I am the only one that can do something about it.
What do you think? Is it that easy to keep yourself from making friends? Or to make friends?
This has been on my mind for a few days now. Do any spoonies have any thoughts on this? Anyone else have thoughts on this? What would you want from a friend with a chronic illness?
Until next time, everyone.